


Bond 25 in 25

by angel_xx



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Bond 25 in 25, M/M, Not a Script, Random & Short
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-11-05 19:11:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17924678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel_xx/pseuds/angel_xx
Summary: Bond 25 in 25 words. (or less.) (or sometimes a little more than the word count.)(Their dialogue is roughly 25 words.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by a-forger-and-a-point-man 's challenge on tumblr! Bond 25 in 25 words.

Bond: Q — I made us dinner.  
Q: Dinner? Aren’t you with Madeleine?  
Bond: She’s dead. Come back at once.  
Q: I—  
Bond: Bring the cats as well.  
Q: I’ll be there.


	2. Chapter 2

Q: Why the hell is my carpet stained red — oh. *sees Bond on bed bleeding profusely*  
Bond: I got injured.  
Q: I really, really hate you right now.


	3. Chapter 3

Bond: You have to come home. You’re having a fever.  
Q: Bond, for the last time, I’m fine— *collapses*  
Bond: *sighs and carries Q back home*


	4. Chapter 4

Q: Take. your. medication.  
Bond: No.. I don't like it..  
Q: If you're gonna vomit all over the bed—  
Bond: *vomits*  
*cats purring*  
Q: You're sooooo dead.


	5. Chapter 5

Moneypenny: *sobs quietly*  
Tanner: What is it, darling? What's wrong?  
Moneypenny: I.. I'm pregnant.  
Tanner: Oh, my god..!  
Moneypenny: I know..   
Tanner: But that's amazing news!  
Moneypenny: No it's not!


	6. Chapter 6

Moneypenny: Mallory, I'm sending Bond to your office.  
Q: No, Eve. Don't do that.  
Moneypenny: Why?  
Bond: *enters room* Oh my fucking god.  
Q: Yeah. That happened.  
Mallory: Bond, please leave.


	7. Chapter 7

Q: *wrapping wound* Do you have any idea how worried I was, Bond?  
Bond: How worried were you?  
Q: *slaps Bond* That worried.  
Bond: *winces* Christ!  
Q: Serves you right.


	8. Chapter 8

Moneypenny: Hnngh..  
Tanner: Love, what's wrong? *squeezes her fingers tightly*  
Moneypenny: I think I'm going into labour—  
Bond: CALL A BLOODY AMBULANCE, TANNER!  
Q: YEAH!  
Tanner: Holy shit! *calls ambulance*


	9. Chapter 9

Q: You never told anyone you were gay, sir. Why not stay quiet?  
Mallory: I could ask the same of you.  
Q: I—  
Mallory: Don't ever ask that again.  
Q: Okay.


	10. Chapter 10

*Bond and Q are drunk.*  
Bond: Who am I?  
Q: Sherlock Holmes.  
Bond: But I'm not a high functioning sociopath.  
Q: You are a psychopath, Sherlock.  
Bond: John.. Kiss me.


	11. Chapter 11

Bond: Listen baby, you are going to be a Double Oh Agent when you grow up.  
Q: No, a Quartermaster.  
Eve: You shall be none of the sort.  
*Baby starts crying loudly*


	12. Chapter 12

Bond: Do we really have to do this?  
Q: *hands Bond a vibrator* What do you think, 007?  
Bond: What about the exploding pen?  
Q: *triggers the vibrator* No.


	13. Chapter 13

Tanner: Our daughter looks more like me.  
Moneypenny: No, me.  
Tanner: NO, ME!  
Moneypenny: NO, I SAID ME.  
Q & Bond: *rolls eyes* Tsktsk.  
Eve & Tanner: SHUT UP BOND & Q!


	14. Chapter 14

At Madeleine's funeral,  
Q: Did you ever regret proposing to her?  
Bond: What do you mean, regret proposing? You're mine now.   
Q: Awww, I love you.  
Bond: I love you too.  
Eve & Tanner: *stares in awe* Awwwwww~


	15. Chapter 15

Mallory: Gather around, people.  
*Everyone gathers around*  
Mallory: I'm getting married!  
Eve, Tanner, Q & Bond: To that man you fucked in the office?  
Mallory: Yes.   
Bond: Love at first fuck?  
Everyone except Bond, Q, Tanner, Eve and Mallory: Ewwww...  
Mallory: Shut up, homophobes. Before I fire all of you.  
*They shut up immediately.*


	16. Chapter 16

Bond: Do you want some tea, Q?  
Q: Yes, please. Earl Grey, two teaspoons of sugar.  
*Bond comes back with a cup of tea for Q*  
Q: *sips* WHAT ON EARTH, LOVE? I SAID TWO TEASPOONS, NOT TABLESPOONS!  
Bond: Shit. *runs*


	17. Chapter 17

Moneypenny: We need a name for our daughter.  
Tanner: Yeah, help us out!  
Bond: How about Brie?  
Tanner: Isn't that cheese?  
Q: Ooh, what about Olive?  
Tanner & Moneypenny: You two aren't helping.


	18. Chapter 18

Q: Seven and Ginger, keep quiet...  
Bond: They can watch. *Strips*  
*Seven & Ginger purrs loudly*  
Mallory: What the heck?   
Q: Sir, it's nothing.  
*Cats betray Q by purring loudly again*  
Mallory: You have some explaining to do.  
Q: *curses softly* I really hate you two right now.


	19. Chapter 19

Moneypenny: I'm aching all over, love. Help me with the baby.  
Tanner: Alright, Eve. *carries the baby* Go to sleep my dearest~  
*Baby starts crying loudly*  
Moneypenny: Jesus, you're not good with babies.  
Tanner: I'm sorry. *He frowns and tries to calm the baby*


	20. Chapter 20

Q: Bond, guess what?  
Bond: What?  
Q: It's our anniversary.. How could you forget that?  
Bond: I'm an old man, my memory's bound to leave anyway.  
Q: Pfft. Excuses.  
Bond: What?  
*Q shuts Bond up by taping his mouth shut with duct tape on his desk*


	21. Chapter 21

Bond: I'm bored.  
Q: ...  
Bond: I said, I'm bored.  
Q: I heard you for the first time.  
Bond: So entertain me!  
Q: *facepalms* You're on a bloody mission, Bond. Focus on that!


	22. Chapter 22

Bond: Q, wait up!  
Q: Huh? *turns around*  
Bond: Happy Birthday. *hands him a card and runs away*  
Minions: Happy Birthday, Sir!  
Q: *opens it up* That bastard...   
A note says:  
Meet me at my flat. 10pm. Let's have sex.  
Q: It's not even my birthday.  
*Minions go back to work*


	23. Chapter 23

*Bond kneeling down on the floor*  
Bond: Q, sorry.  
Q: For what?  
Eve: I thought he was going to propose.  
Tanner: Same.  
Bond: For not returning the equipment, but will you marry me?  
Eve & Tanner: Wait, WHAT?  
Q: ... Yes.


End file.
